Friday, August 28, 2009


I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. Just a temporary one. And maybe a body piercing. Don't know about that one for sure. All the college kids have them. Some are rather tasteful....a sweet little rose or dainty heart strategically placed in some sentimental area- ankle, wrist, back of neck, etc. Then they grow... an armband of barbed wire, a dolphin leaping joyously across the shin, a butterfly floating across that special little place on your lower back that you only show your boyfriend and every other non-visually impaired person. And then, they morph into these gigantic murals that cover entire body areas. Shoulders, arms, neck, name it, it's covered with super-heroes, lightning bolts, dragons, dead relatives, old girlfriends, the Mona Lisa. Not an inch of skin left showing....I don't even know what ethnic group you belong to anymore. Are you a tattooian? I don't think you can check that box on any application form. Race: Tattoian. I realize kids want to express themselves, but all I can say is "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? THIS IS PERMANENT! Why are you struggling to earn a Bachelor's degree, when you will never make it through the first phase of a professional interview with Spiderman INKED ACROSS YOUR ENTIRE FACE?" It may be cool now, but give it a few years. When Spidey starts to wrinkle and sag, he's gonna look more like Grandma Moses. I've been paying attention in class, especially Psychology. We've been studying the Social Learning Theory and Bandura's belief that we learn through modeling. So I'm going to do some modeling. I'm going to get a big ole tattoo splashed right across the wrinkliest part of this 40+ (O.K. almost 50) body and let them see just how STUPID they are going to look when they are my age and have all that ink on them. "Hey Granny, nice tat" just doesn't have the same ring to it. I'm going to give these 20 year olds a glimpse into the future, a little free education, some deja vu 30 years down the road, applied psychology, and then, I'm going to march Sissey right into the academic office and find out how to get a degree in laser technology.

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