Wednesday, April 14, 2010

This blog will continue after the following message....

     Ladies and gentlemen, are you having a hard time sleeping? Sneezing more than usual? Feeling stuffy and stopped up? Are those eyes red and watery? Nose pouring and itching? Waking up tired?

     Don't feel like you have to suffer all alone.... Don't  stay cooped up in the house feeling irritable and isolated.... Don't miss a single Southern spring day by sitting inside suffering alone....  Don't feel like no one cares...... Get SASSY!
      JOIN THE GROUP  Southern Allergy Sufferers Supporting Ya'll!

      Yessir, you are not alone. Join the hundreds of Southern allergy sufferers who are afflicted this time each year.
      Become part of an exclusive group of sufferers located only in certain selective spots in the south.

      Be SASSY!

    To join, simply submit your pedigree, listing both maternal and paternal lineages to the third degree, all social and club memberships, extracurricular activities, college of matriculation (please omit all colleges from which one may have been expelled or asked politely to leave), charitable contributions, political party preference, and religious affiliation. Please include a minimum of three letters of reference and one doctor's referral. List of all medications, both prescribed and over-the-counter, must be included. Home remedies must be listed seperately.

    As a member of SASSY, you will receive all the benefits offered by our group. This one-time offer includes the following:
  • A guaranteed  "God Bless You" after every single sneeze  
  • An extra "Bless Your Little Heart" for a series of sneezing
  • Lavendar scented Irish Linen handkerchief (ladies only, please)
  • Mossy Oak or French Cambric handkerchief (gentlemen only, please)
  • A 24 hour hotline (1-800-SCUSEME)
  • Unlimited sympathy, understanding, compassion, and concern
  Join today, and you will also receive our signature furry yellow pollen blanket embroidered with our logo, the pecan tassel.
Pecan Tassels gently cascading from tree
If you have proximity to pollen saturated pecan trees or live oaks, you automatically qualify as a member.
Cat owners receive an extra 10% discount.

Not one single member of SASSY will ever suffer alone, bless all ya'lls little sneezy hearts.

  •   Call 1-800-SASSY to join today.
  •  Don't even ask how much it costs.
  • Hurry...offer expires sooner than you'd think.
  •  Limited number of memberships available, but I just know ya'll will all want to join.
  • All terms and conditions subject to change whenever I say so, thank you very much.
  • God Bless You's unlimited and non-refundable.


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