Trevon, the Elf and the Little Girl: A Christmas Fable

     Once upon a time, there lived a sweet little girl named Mary Lapsley. She had blonde hair and green eyes, and lived with her mother, father, and twin brother in a faraway land called Virginia.  Every Christmas, she would travel to a beautiful place called Carolina to celebrate the holidays with family and friends. It was a magical, wonderful time and the little girl dreamed all year long of the Christmas season.
     Once again, the time had come for her to travel to Carolina. It was the day before Christmas, and the little girl made a special announcement.
     "This year," she said, "I do not want an 'all-clothes' Christmas."
     "What do you mean?" her parents exclaimed, "You have not told Santa of anything special that you would like."
      " I don't know what I would like," the little girl replied. "I just know that I do not want all clothes."
      Her parents pondered this for a moment and knew the little girl actually did not need anything special.  She was quite spoiled with all the current electrical gadgets, and had all the accesssories, perfumes, jewelery, books and anything else they could think of that she could ever possibly need. The problem, they realized, was not that she didn't want an "all clothes" Christmas, the problem was that she was an over-indulged child who actually couldn't think of anything she needed.
      They looked at their watches and realized Christmas Eve was upon them and it would soon be time to leave for the candlelight service at church.  There was nothing left for them to do but to contact Santa and leave the problem in his hands.
     A note was quickly dispatched to the North Pole, and heaving a great sigh of relief, they all went to church, then dinner at Aunt Ann's, and finally home and off to bed in time for Santa to arrive.
     Early the next morning, the little girl and her brother scampered down the stairs, eager to see if Santa had actually arrived and if he had left them any special surprises.
     Lo and behold, Santa had come!  The tree was twinkling in the corner and a pile of presents were waiting on the floor by the hearth. And Santa had left a very special note just for the little girl.  It was attached to a thick rope that led to something hidden behind the chair. With eyes full of excitement and a trembling hand, she ripped open the card from Santa and read what the jolly old saint had written.

    "Dear Sissey," the note began.
"I heard that you were quite livid about only getting clothes this Christmas. Although Santa thinks that plenty of children in places such as  Bangladesh, Latvia, Sierra Leone, and Oakland would be very happy with receiving clothes for Christmas, he would not be happy seeing such a sweet little girl be upset on Christmas. However, as your request came a little late after most toys had already been made, and as there were no back-up toys since the Obamanible snowman took them all in these rough economic times, Santa had to give you the best he could. Santa put his best elf, Trevon, on the job to get you "proper" gifts. I'm sure he knew just what you would have wanted. I just hope he did not start hitting Mrs. Clause's Eggnog before he went (Trevon has a bit of a problem). Enjoy and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS. Love, SANTA"

She tossed the letter aside, and with all her might, she pulled and pulled on the rope until a great big box began to appear from behind the chair.  The box was covered with bits and pieces of wrapping paper and was all tied up with the rope.  With a puzzled look, the little girl began to unwrap the box.

      Her family sat all around as she opened the package from Trevon, and everyone wondered what the little elf could have delivered on such late notice.
      The box contained many packages all wrapped in brightly colored Christmas paper-- although it was somewhat of a mess. It would seem that Trevon is not a very good wrapper, (actually, it would seem that Trevon was not a very good elf, despite what Santa had said) but  with a squeal of excitement, the little girl began to rip open the packages. 
     The first package contained a brand new set of bungee cords. She gave it a puzzled glance, tossed it aside, and grabbed the next package. A set of broken reindeer antlers? A can of green beans?
      "Wait a minute," she said, "What is going on here?"
       Package after package was opened..... hot sauce, windshield wiper fluid, a handful of branches.  She couldn't understand what was happening, yet her brother was laughing delightedly as she went through the pile of presents, and her parents had a funny little smirk on their faces. A can of anti-fungal foot spray seemed a very useful present, as did the farmer's almanac that she opened next, and certainly, there were no clothes, but the little girl was still puzzled by the odd assortment of packages.

      A half eaten can of nuts and a half-empty bottle of vodka lay at the bottom of the box. Trevon had written a note on the bottle in a shaky little elf hand: "Sorry Santa, Trevon he got a little thurstie," he wrote, but there was no explanation for the nuts. Seems that Trevon actually did have a bit of a drinking problem, and perhaps an eating disorder as well.
      When the box was empty and the pile of presents lay beside it on the floor, the little girl's father exclaimed, "Why, there's not a single item of clothing in the whole lot! It wasn't an 'all-clothes' Christmas after all! Trevon saved the day!"
     The little girl didn't say much after that as she sat there and played with her bungee cords and wiper fluid.
    Fortunately, Santa had been in on the surprise from Trevon, and being the jolly old soul that he is, he had left a few other presents for the little girl that were much more exciting than green beans and hot sauce. She spent the rest of the morning opening the presents from Santa and was thrilled with the clothes that he brought her, even though her mother whispered in her ear, "Be careful what you wish for, little girl, it may just come true."
    "What a minute," the little girl thought again, "Didn't I learn that in Aesop's fables? I thought this was supposed to be a Christmas story, not a moral lesson." And with that being said, she went back to playing with her bungee cords.
     Next year, Trevon is sure to be back, but hopefully, the little girl will have no last minute announcements,  Santa will not have to place such a burden on Trevon,  the brother won't have to laugh, the parents won't have to smirk, there will be no fables to tell, and Christmas will be merry for all!

And the moral of the story is: Be careful what you wish for. Elves with substance abuse problems may give you a box full of surprises. Better leave to Santa what Santa knows best.