When the school first
asked me to be the commencement speaker,
my
initial reaction was “You’ve got to be kidding!?” I have no celebrity status; in fact, my only claims to fame are
1.
a degree in Pipe
Organ, probably the most
impractical degree you could earn;
2.
a brown
belt in Karate, the most practical
thing I have learned,
3.
and I can wiggle my ears, which is
totally useless but highly entertaining!
If you combined those three talents, I
might qualify for a circus job as an
organ-grinding,
·
kung-fu fighting
·
contortionist,
but certainly not as the commencement speaker.
But then, I realized, it doesn’t matter who stands
on this stage,
because it’s not about any of us up here….
Today, it’s about you,
a class
that is near
and dear to my heart, and a class I have gotten to know very
well over the past four years…
Beginning
in freshman year, when you stumbled into University 101 at eight o’clock in the morning, many of
you still wearing
your pajamas
to class,
trying to
figure out the answers to import questions like “Do
I really have to pay $200 for a textbook” and
“Can
that professor see me texting beneath the desk?”
·
Through The years, as you
learned enough French and Spanish to pass those dreaded exit exams,
·
And managed to get through
speech
class without fainting (well, most of you)…
·
but most importantly,
·
had learned NOT to sign up for 8 a.m. classes!
·
Now finally, senior year, the Capstone papers finished, exams finalized, caps and gowns donned, And here you are….the graduates of 2013.
·
You’ve come a long way in four years, and I must say, I like
this look much better than the pajamas!
Four years ago, my daughter, Mary Lapsley, and I arrived on
this campus after a very long drive down from our hometown of Richmond Va.
She was eager to attend the very first freshman orientation, because,
as most of her professors will attest,
Mary Lapsley likes to get things done early,
real early…
in fact, she arrived on this planet three
months before her due date, and complications
from that premature birth led to Cerebral
Palsy, a condition which affected her physical
mobility and fine motor skills, but not her dreams and aspirations.
She had chosen this campus because of
the very dedicated Disabilities Services Coordinator, Tracey Craig, who had assured
her that USC-L would not only offer the services and accommodations she needed,
but would welcome and embrace a very non-traditional student.
Mary Lapsley was a nervous
freshman, and I was an anxious mom who had signed on to be her scribe
and aide for the next four years.
We were a
bit apprehensive as we entered the unfamiliar campus, realizing from the
beginning that we made an unusual twosome,
A
college student with her mother tagging along.
Sitting
quietly on the back row of this auditorium, trying so hard not to be noticed, we
were approached by a strange gentleman, wearing blue
jeans, a USC-L shirt and some funky
black sneakers, He asked “Is
Something the matter? Why aren’t you down there with the rest of your class?”
to which my daughter replied, “Well, I have Cerebral Palsy and can’t get down
the steps with my walker.”
So he sat down, started chatting with my daughter, found out why we were here, and told her how to
get familiar with the campus.
He also told us there was an elevator right around the corner,
the first useful thing we
learned in college!
Little did I know at the time that the strange
gentleman was none other than Dean Catalano, but from that day forward, from that friendly reception, this campus
began to feel like home.
Mary Lapsley was actually very used to people asking her if something was the matter,
especially when she was in unfamiliar territory or meeting new people…that’s just
life with a disability.
In high school, she
volunteered at a homeless feeding shelter in the inner city of Richmond. Her duty was to man the coffee table, where she was executive-in-charge
of filling the cream and sugar bowls.
With cerebral palsy, the harder she worked to fill the cups,
the more
her hands trembled, causing some spillage
and making a bit of a mess,
but she was getting the job done.
One of the homeless men marched up to grab his free cup
of joe and noticed her hands trembling as she
filled his cup. With an insolent snarl, he
asked,
“What’s
the matter with you? You scared or something?”
“No sir, she answered, “”I’m not scared.”
“Well,
why are you shaking? You got a NERVE problem?”
“No sir,”
she replied. “I don’t have a nerve problem.”
“Well, he
shouted, as he grabbed his coffee, you got Something,”
She
laughed as she retold the story that afternoon, and said, ‘Mom,
he was just so right,
I got something!”
The truth
of the story is, “We’ve all got
SOMETHING.”
There’s not a person in this room who
has not had to struggle with something,
·
A difficult home life,
a disappointing
job,
·
An unexpected
illness, a disabled
child
That’s just life.
We’ve all got our “somethings” to deal with.
· Many of you have had to
overcome great barriers to obtain this
college education. I have been tremendously inspired, over the past four years,
as I have gotten to know you and have listened to your stories.
· Some of you are first generation
college students, some of you are parents,
even grandparents, attending college for
the first
time, alongside your children and grandchildren.
o Some of you have returned to
college after many years
o to finally finish
that degree,
· Some have returned after being
pushed out of the workforce,
o or returning from the military as wounded veterans
· Many of you have worked
one or even two jobs while maintaining a full
load of classes. It hasn’t been easy.
· But what mattered was you had
the willpower to endure and the determination to succeed.
· You have also been supported and encouraged by incredibly
dedicated and talented professors…
· Tracey
Craig was absolutely right when she assured
us that USC-L would do
everything possible to
help a non-traditional student succeed.
· This faculty has gone way beyond
the call of duty to make this journey possible,
not only for my daughter, but for many of you as well. They have
·
encouraged
and inspired
·
and
·
believed
in your potential
·
even
when you doubted yourselves.
·
You
wouldn’t be here today without their help
· So before you leave this campus
today, please… go and
thank a professor! They deserve it!
That same willpower that
enabled you to succeed
in college will serve you well as you begin your careers, because
No matter which field of study
you have chosen,
there is a common trait that all future employers will be looking for once you
enter the job market. Richard M. DeVos,
co-founder of Amway, stated,
“If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic, that I regard as being most highly
correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence.
Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times
and get up off the floor saying, ''Here comes number seventy-one!''
Now that’s Something!
Many successful people have triumphed not because of their
ability, but because of their attitude.
They stuck it out through difficult times,
they kept a positive attitude,
and even when failure
seemed imminent,they kept on trying.
- Winston Churchill certainly knew the value of that kind of persistence
It
took him three
years
to make it through the eighth grade because he had a major speech impediment.
In
fact, He and I had the same disability, a lisp so severe that it took us years of
practice and hard work to overcome.
Churchill
never quit trying, and in spite of his speech impediment, he became a world
renowned public spokesman,
telling
students in his famous 1941 commencement speech to follow his example and “Never
give in. Never, never, never, give
in.”
Like
Churchill, I had to spend hours in speech
therapy standing before a mirror
saying “Thally thells theashells by the
theashore,”
determined
to make it sound more like
Sally Sells Seashells by the Seashore.
Refusing to give
in, so that I didn’t end up as an
·
organ-grinding, kung-fu
fighting, LISPING contortionist!
Believe
me, public
speaking is never
easy for someone with a lisp….ESPECIALLY when they have to begin a speech
greeting a dignitary named President Pastides!!
But I have continued working my entire
life to manage my disability,
·
so that I am not defined by what I can’t do,
·
but by what I choose to
do.
The
choice is yours to make….
You can certainly choose to give in to your challenges,
Claiming, Poor Me, Life is not Fair,
and you would be right.
Life is not fair, and sometimes, there’s nothing you can
do about it.
· But everyone faces difficulties, some more than others.
We don’t get to choose our circumstances in
life.
but we can ALWAYS choose how we respond to them.
As British
Novelist Phyllis Bottome noted,
“There are two ways of meeting difficulties.
You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them.”
For
the last 23 years, I have watched my
daughter face a world
full of challenges and struggles.
·
She did not
choose to be born with Cerebral
Palsy,
·
or spend a lifetime watching others do
things her body would never be able to do.
What she did choose, however,
was to alter her attitude
and adopt
a “can-do”, persistent and determined
belief that,
·
no
matter many times she got knocked down,
·
no
matter how many times she failed
·
she
was going to get back up
·
and
keep on trying….
·
Only 25% percent of South Carolinians
have earned a college degree, and
Today, she will join all of you
on this stage
as you become members of
that prestigious
group
And claim a diploma that proves
·
no matter how difficult life can be,
·
no
matter how many times you fail,
· no matter how many times the world says
“You can’t do that”,
·
Oh Yes, you can!
So now, No matter what road you choose,
Whether it is to
·
continue
with your education
·
Enlist
in the military
·
Enter
into the job market or
·
Become
a wandering nomad…
·
You can do anything you want,
·
You can become ANYONE you want to be,
· if you have a Determined attitude,
· a POSITIVE SPIRIT and
· you NEVER GIVE IN.
I guarantee you, if you adopt
that approach, when someone looks at you and says,
“What’s the matter with you? You got
something?”
·
You will stand up tall,
·
look them straight in the eye,
·
hold up your Carolina diploma, and
proudly say,
·
“You
see this degree?…You better believe it!
·
I’ve GOT Something....
And there's no stopping me now!!!
Congratulations,
Carolina graduates
CLASS OF 2013!!!!
The End!!
The End!!
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